As we are all familiar with by now, the shameless confidence of Trump supporters has increased within the last several months. They’ve marched the streets with their Tiki Torches, Confederate flags, and matching camouflage shirts and hats. And — they’ve even decided to keep the KKK hats at home, because hey, what’s the shame in hiding their faces?
Anyways, as their hateful rhetoric blaze themselves on our TV screens and Twitter feeds, I can’t help but wonder. What do these guys do when they’re not making old memes on Facebook and sharing fake information from Breitbart? I mean, I know they have sweet old American barbecue nights in their backyards, but what music do they play on those nights? What books do they read their children at night?
Well, let me tell you. After researching plenty of Spotify playlists and overhearing music blaring from big, rusty trucks driving on the street with their “Make America Great Again” bumper stickers, I’ve compiled the perfect list of songs that most Trump supporters bop when listening to.
1. Don’t Stop Believin, By Journey
Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with Journey. It’s honestly a great song. But something about the lyrics of “Just a small town girl, livin’ in a lonely world” and “She took the midnight train going anywhere” really gets their engine going. There’s not one white person living in the United States of America who doesn’t know the opening of this song. It’s mathematically impossible.
2. R.O.C.K. In The USA, By John Mellencamp
Okay, you honestly really can’t blame me for this one. What kind of list would this be without John Mellencamp? Mellencamp is like Jesus to these guys, Jesus walking on water. It’s the ballad of fireworks crackling, sizzling meat patties on the grill after a tiresome day of buying fifty pounds worth of firecrackers with your boys.
3. Sweet Home Alabama, By Lynyrd Skynyrd
A classic bop. One you would never not listen to when you’re at your friend’s Billy’s house. So, I did some research on this song. Apparently, this song is about giving remembrance and recognition to the South, specifically, its people. In fact, Lynyrd was all about giving the Southern rock genre a name in the music industry. The music industry, unfortunately, didn’t make that happen, but the Southern people never forgot. I live in Texas, so I would know.
4. Livin’ On A Prayer, By Bon Jovi
Probably one of the most infamously known classics on this list. Give your white friend the AUX cord, and know this is the first thing they’ll pick. I don’t need to explain more.
5. Born in the U.S.A., By Bruce Springsteen
Another Fourth of July classic, one you couldn’t get away from even if you tried. Springsteen has written a lot of redneck classics actually, but this one is different. See, even Ronald Reagan quoted this song in one of his campaign speeches. There’s nothing more American than a presidential candidate quoting Springsteen. What a legend.
And that’s it, folks. These are the most played songs I’ve heard from living ten years in the deep heart of Texas. Of course, there’s more. Countless more. You can’t erase American patriotism, these songs are just as much apart of the American culture as cherry pie, Coca Cola, and sweet old racism. So the next time you’re out with your family on a nice, breezy Fourth of July night, pop out these bad boys and leave everyone shaken in their boots with your American knowledge.