Beauty influencer Nikkie de Jager, more commonly known as NikkieTutorials on YouTube, sits in front of a dreamy white backdrop. She wears a golden yellow sweatshirt and a neutral makeup look. This video is not another tutorial, but a heart-warming coming out video.
“Today I am here to share something with you that I’ve always wanted to share with you one day, but under my own circumstances, and it looks like that chance has been taken away from me. So today, I am taking back my own power and I have to tell you something.”
She continues, “Yes, I am transgender. But at the end of the day, I am me. And at the end of the day, you are you.” Jager wants to share this part of her on her own terms, saying, “I am here to openly share that I am transgender. And with this message, I wanna inspire little Nikkies around the world who feel insecure, who feel out of place, who feel misunderstood. I hope by me standing up and being free that it inspires others to do the same.”
Throughout the 17-minute video, Jager emphasizes, “truly live your life like you want it, and the way you deserve it.”
“This world needs us. We need to accept each other. We need to respect each other. But most of all, we need to hear each other and understand,” she says. “It doesn’t matter what type of label someone belongs to, what kind of hair color someone has, the type of clothing that they wear, their height, their weight, their size, the way they look, the way they wanna express themselves, it is 2020 and it is time for us to understand, accept, hear and respect.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. While Jager is not saying anything new, the fact that she is using her platform to speak out about equality and respect is remarkable.
Here’s the lovely video:
Jager explains her childhood and how she socially transitioned early on, around the age of seven or eight. She lauds her mother for her acceptance of Jager: “…she has been there for me since day one. She has always supported me, always accepted me. And that is everything you need as a kid. A parent that understands and listens and respects.” Jager also thanks her teachers for supporting her.
“But growing up, I think the hardest part was meeting new people and getting close to them and telling them a side to your life you don’t even wanna talk about because you hate that part of your life, you don’t wanna be that part of your life, you don’t wanna be known for that single part of your life. But still, you have to.” Jager further explains how after transitioning, that part of your life is over, “but you can truly close it off for good. And I am accepting that, nowadays. And I am embracing that, nowadays.”
Hearing Jager share such a personal part of her life makes my heart swell. The fact that she is so candid and open about her life and the struggles she has gone through is admirable and courageous. Jager mentions how “liberating” it is to tell her story. She exudes confidence and fierceness in this video, being proud to be herself, to be Nikkie.
Jager even talks about the anxiety that comes with coming out to romantic partners, and how she held off on telling her fiancé Dylan because “everything felt so magical, so good, that I [Jager] was afraid to lose him if I would tell my full story.”
She sends it home with this quote: “I am me. I am still Nikkie. Nothing changes about that. The last thing I want in my life is for you to not trust me anymore or to look at me with different eyes, or look at me in a different manner, or think that I have changed…I, at the end of the day, am still Nikkie…the number one thing on my channel is my love for makeup.
“And the reason why the trans part of me never got to the light, was because I wanted my channel to be about my art. I wanted my art to do the speaking for me.”
Circling back to the beginning of the video, Jager details why she could not come out on her own terms. “I have been blackmailed by people who wanted to leak my story to the press. And at first, it was frightening…They said they wanted to leak it because I’m lying, or that I don’t want to tell my truth, or because they feel like I’m too scared for people to know who I truly am. I’m not scared.
“So to the people who tried to blackmail me, and thought they could really mess up my life with that, this one’s for you.” She flips the haters off.
“Please know that doesn’t change anything about me. My love for makeup has always been real. I have always been real.” Well said. This video is not only an act of confidence and courage but love. Jager yearns to inspire her audience and be open about her life. I am proud of her for this. She took the negative and scary situation of allegedly being blackmailed and flipped it around, telling her truth to the world.
Her peaceful and calm demeanor is comforting and strong. The audience can feel her love and appreciation for her loved ones and fans through the screen. I am sure that she has helped so many people from posting this video and sharing her story. Congratulations, NikkieTutorials for taking such a huge step in her life and being herself through and through. We love and support you!
Featured image via NikkieTutorial’s YouTube video.