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Line Between a Lover and a Friend

Who am I in your life?

Credit: Pexels

Your eyes fluttered. I looked at you intently, wishing that my eyes could speak for me.

Tell me darling, where do I stand? For I would have crossed oceans and mountains, deserts and valleys just to feel, to touch, to share with you the warmth that I’m burning in. I’ve been in this flame for a while now. I couldn’t even stop the raging fire in my heart; instead, I ended up burnt by it, clueless of what I have become, of what to do next, of what I am to you.

Am I allowed to be worried? Am I allowed to ask what’s been on your mind lately? Am I allowed to know the things you do every single day, so that I won’t miss out anything about you? Am I even allowed to have you on my mind all the time?

Tell me, where do I stand? Do I need to take a step back? Should I be a little less worried when you can’t take care of yourself? Should I spend these nights talking to you even when I’ll be away the next day? Tell me and I’ll listen, I’ll understand, I’ll take in whatever you say, just tell me.

Tell me quickly, for I’m turning into ashes. I’ll soon be carried away by the wind, and I’ll swiftly swing across places I’ve never been. Tell me quickly, before I’m gone, so I can find more wood to keep this fire burning. Tell me quickly, before you go away, is it safe to say that I have fallen for you? Tell me love, is it just me?

The words that you will utter will come out with finality, and I dread the truth.

I dread the day that you’ll tell me if I’m your lover or friend.

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Written by Wainah Joson

A Filipina artist who creates works of art with brushes, pens, words, films, and photos.