I wrote this poem from half experience of my own and half of things I’ve heard from close friends who had also been in abusive relationships — not only physical abuse but also verbal and psychological abuse as well. This poem mainly focuses on thinking everything in your relationship is fine, when in reality what we think or perceive to be love is actually abusive behavior. A snow globe is a popular collectible item from different landmarks or places. Inside the snow globe is a small version of the place you bought it at like Las Vegas or the Eiffel Tower for example. When you shake the globe it makes fake snow fall inside of the dome, slightly blurring your vision of the landmark inside. That’s what not being able to tell the difference between love and abusive behavior is. I hope this poem inspired people to evaluate their relationships to recognize if what they think is love, is truly what it is.
Manipulative relationship are abuse.
You may not notice until it’s over.
Until the snow finally settles
and you can see more than 5 feet in front of you for once.
When you realize you’ve been in a snow globe
enjoying the views of a world that’s not really in front of you.
This is about breaking out my snow globe.
The first time my ex boyfriend said he loved me, i cried.
I thought that they were tears of joy,
but i do not think that anymore.
As the words rolled off his tongue
they wrapped around me like cold metal chains making me his property,
I said it back.
That statement alone locked the chains around me,
constructing me from
it removed the little bit of freedom
I had endowed to me.
I was blinded by the charade of your acts
making life feel like this is how it should be.
We should only be together,
we do not have friends unless their mutual
we don’t go out unless we’re together.
That is not love.
That is suffocation,
that is holding your head under the water
until your lungs fill with water,
that is torture,
that is death,
that is what dating you was like.
A slow death
with a euphoric veil
to make the fact
you’re being murdered
not so bad.
“I love you” turned into a plea,
begging me not to leave
all the times i knew i should’ve.
“I can’t live without you”
became a suicide pact,
it was too literal,
forcing me to stay.
“If you leave i don’t know what i’ll do”
became blood on my hands
dripping from the knife
I’d unknowingly stabbed into you.
seemed like a life sentence
and we were foolish enough to smile
and think that was love.
You took my individuality away
and wore it like a coat.
I thought you were my other half,
but in actuality
you forced yourself inside me.
I cut you out of me
I had to try and take back
all the pieces of myself that I could
yet when i see you,
I see myself.
Not because i still love you,
but because the best parts of me
we’re stolen by you.
I can’t take myself back
I made you
I’ll always regret that,
but I’m someone new.
No, I mean someone better
and all you will ever be is
the washed up last version of me.
I heard you were lost.
that’s probably because I found myself.
I’m starting to realize
give and take
“you’re happiness is only good if I caused it”
I still don’t think I have this love thing down yet,
but i think i’m getting there.