I wrote this poem when I was 14 and just beginning high school. It is about the first girl I ever loved. I was in a bad place at that point in my life and I turned to poetry as an outlet for the pain I was feeling. This was the result.
"I love you," she says it with a smile, and it's probably one of the most beautiful things I've ever wanted to write about. "I'm sorry," she says it like it's over, and that's the day I put my pen down and stopped writing because this was not a beautiful thing and I couldn't see through my tears. "It's over." she says it like it's nothing, like I had never seen the galaxies in her eyes or the stars in her smile. It was like I had never existed for her, even though for me she was the only star in my galaxy of despair I had felt for the years I had been a l o n e. She was my own personal heaven in this pit of hell we call life. And then she was gone and it was over and I didn't know whether to cry or to write because it felt like my soul had been snatched out of my body and ripped in two so I did what I do best. I sat down at the table of her favorite restaurant. And I took out a pen and a piece of paper and I wrote all this down and told her that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you I'm sorry that your beauty outshines a thousand suns and I wasn't worthy of standing beside it. So I wrote all this down and I folded it into an envelope and I put a stamp on it and I slipped it into your mailbox addressed to the girl I promised not to write poetry about. Sorry. I lied.