This is a poem about the realities of anxiety. My friend Emelia recently collaborated with me by sharing her experiences with panic attacks, sensationalized mental health, and the importance of self acceptance. She aims to help others on similar journeys with the use of her experience and positively authentic outlook on life. Here, I attempted to put in words the seemingly insurmountable feelings of anxiety and shed a light on this topic of paramount importance.
A harmless thought,
becomes scrutinized and amplified,
shattering into a million shards of glass.
The reflective surface
where self introspection reins supreme.
Pinpointing every possibility
on the paths of infinity
which lead to nowhere but
self doubt,
anxiety,
and animosity towards the reality
that is happening.
The room closes in,
the mind begins to swirl,
and a panic attack unleashes its wrath.
A panic attack is not freaking out.
A panic attack is not a joke.
A panic attack is not being overdramatic.
A panic attack is.
All there is.
Life,
is constantly setting in motion the
butterfly effect.
But what if the insect,
like life itself,
forgets to fly.
A fight from within
between the
body’s actions,
and the mind’s thoughts.
A circus act of tightrope walkers,
one step away,
one thought away,
from falling.
A panic attack is not just overanalyzing.
just healed with medication.
just anxious thoughts.
The harmless thought
that cascaded itself into a million shards of glass
cuts deep into the mind.
The glass that can inflict pain,
when looked at directly,
one sees the self.
The glass that can inflict pain,
when looked through,
one sees the world through a new lense.
A lense filled with
contemplation on the lives
that happen behind closed doors.
And the only way to heal,
is to open and love
what lies beyond
the glass.
