I remember the fall. It was soft and comforting, like falling into a bed of downy pillows. Except without all of the feathers poking you. I hate realizing that forever couldn’t be built on a bed of downy pillows.
I don’t regret it though. I don’t regret getting to know you and growing to love you.
You are an amazing person, and I’m sad that we couldn’t have built forever on our relationship.
I have so many great memories with you though, ones I’ll treasure forever.
Those short summer nights in that cabin of yours in the woods watching the sky. The long winter nights just holding each other for warmth while we watched the embers of the fire die.
I’m sad that it couldn’t have worked out. We were a match, but we didn’t fit. The same pattern of colors but different shapes. I loved you, and you loved me but what we had, while not unhealthy, wasn’t going to last into a form of forever.
We agreed to break on a mutual understanding that we couldn’t have worked out in the long term. I have dreams that are a bit unrealistic but I want to pursue them and you just want the simple things in life. You dreamed of someone who would be able to spend a great deal of time with you, and what I dreamed of doing would consume so much of my time that your dream would’ve never happened. I’m just glad that we realized that and figured out that our relationship would have eventually fallen apart.
But I’m still going to remember the good times we had. Eating store bought Ice cream on the back porch watching the dogs chase each other. That time we explored a forest together just cause we wanted to, and you fell in a creek and ruined your favorite shirt (I’ll always remember the look on your face when I gave you a brand new one as a present).
I guess some relationships aren’t meant to be the kind that you build forever on. Maybe some relationships are the kind that teach you how to find someone who’s a match and a fit for you and how you want to grow.
Forever can grow and build in any situation, but trying to build it between two or more people that just don’t fit well together in some critically important way can cause a lot of pain in the process of realizing that the people involved don’t fit together perfectly.
So…in a way, I’m grateful that we realized we’d break up eventually and did it before things became too complicated and hard.
Does that mean it’s easy for me? Or that it’s easy for you? Not at all. I miss you every single night, but…I have to go after my dreams. And, in that sense, I guess you could say that I’m the reason that we’re not a fit and only a match. And if I could change that, I would. I can’t though, so the most I can say is that I enjoyed our time together and still love you, but in the end I’m grateful that we split in a mutual way as ‘early’ as we did because that way, we spare a great deal of pain of having tried to build forever only to have it fall apart around us.
I wish you the best and hope you find someone who you can build forever with. You deserve that.
