A kiss isn’t consent. And the stars can’t save you. I wrote this poem about something that happened, maybe to me, maybe to you, probably to people that don’t have voice enough to hurt through their words. This is my healing. I hope it can help.
TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT
Did you know that I kissed him first?
It was all I wanted
I didn’t care about loosing that gold star
I conveniently forgot what was in his pants
because all I could think about was you
All i wanted was to be held and to look up at the sky
because you know the stars have always calmed me down
but this isn’t about you
He told me he loved me
and he got grass in my hair
He pushed me up against the wall of the church and cut me in half with his fingers
I don’t know if it was too dark for him to see me crying
Or if maybe he confused my sobs with moans
Or maybe he didn’t care
Did you know I was his first kiss?
Have I told you that the morning after he broke me he told me that he wanted me
he wanted me the way you never did
He told me I was beautiful and I let him touch the hair on the back of my head when he pulled me in close
But I suppose the stars weren’t enough for him
He wanted the sweetness that only you could have
And I confused no for give me another hit
he wouldn’t let me go
And it hurts
He fingered my mind out of me
You told me I may have finally lost you
and I know I lost myself,
just like how I lost that game because of the things that happened to my body
But what hurts the most
is now I am only a poet when I cry
