Being fat can be exhausting. Not only do the people around you make you feel ugly, but at some point you too fall deep into the ditch of self pity. As I helped myself out of this ditch, I wrote this poem to make myself, and hopefully others, understand that beauty is only a social construct, and a very stupid one.
Every time you spit this out on my face,
I assure you, my mind erases the hate.
My ears pick it up as ‘beauty’,
and my heart starts beating, again.
Every time you sympathetic gaze meets mine,
I know I’m not the one to be pitied,
Your eyes are blind and so is your heart,
because they refuse to see where beauty really lies.
There are times when you tell me to be comfortable,
to be confident in my own skin,
but then you betray.
You hit me with hate until my self confidence shatters,
and every time it breaks,
I try to glue it back together.
In these past years I’ve promised to fit into
the perfect image of beauty,
you gave to me.
But this time my resolution is the opposite.
This time I’ve made a promise,
not to be pretty,
not to be anything but happy,
happy in my own shoes,
I won’t let self doubt break in this time,
I’ll accept nothing but love this time.