It takes a long time to get over people who have had a significant impact on your life, especially when one day they’re just gone and it seems like there is no way for you to gain closure. This poem is about when someone you’ve been trying to get over suddenly reappears in your life and all the negative emotions come flooding back.
I’m feeling things again I only used to feel in the middle of the night;
How come it’s been months now
and you still won’t leave my mind?
I still feel sick when I hear your name,
and I still tell myself that there’s no one to blame
but me.
It’s been almost a year now,
and you probably don’t even remember what my face is like,
but I remember everything about you.
I remember how heavy your presence always hung in the air.
The different ways you used to do your hair,
And all the things I had to pretend I didn’t know about you.
I was telling secrets, but you weren’t aware.
I loved you and you didn’t know or care.
It was a one-sided friendship long before you left.
I’m feeling the rushes of anger and despair again,
the ones I only used to feel when I thought about
how much more you loved him over me.
I still want to let you ruin me.
It’s an arrow to the chest whenever I hear your name or see your face—
and remember all the awful things you did.
Dragging down everyone around you; never keeping your promises.
I’m feeling things again I only used to feel in the middle of the night.
I can’t stop thinking about you,
and everything we didn’t do right.
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