I Fell in Love With the Scale

August 14, 20172 min read

At around the age of 10, I truly began to hate my body. I have never been one of the skinny girls and people would always tell me to watch my weight, but at the beginning of middle school, I actively tried to lose weight. It led to my obsession with the scale and I loved the control I had over my weight loss, how it made me better in the eyes of the world.

The summer of diet Coke

appetite suppressants

and ten-year old girls

hoping to be loved again

compliment my thigh gap

i’ll hold your hair as you puke

Using each other as a how to guide

writing ones for those to come

i hope you don’t see

the parts of me in this poem

as another instruction manual

to use on your self

‘Que flaca estas’

those words were the sun

for a weak flower like me

they told me

being skinny is better

than being healthy

being skinny is better

than being happy

‘Wow you look amazing’

thanks to the girl

who pretended i was invisible

for the last five years

but saw me when my collar bones popped

and i longer had tree trunk thighs

thank you for finally

making me feel worthy

I fell in love

not with movie stars

but with low numbers on a scale

with bone and flat stomachs

with the feeling of being enough

maybe now i’m what you want


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Anais Rivero

Aspiring journalist, Latina woman, and film lover trying to stomp the patriarchy with my large combat boots.