This poem is about love and loss and redemption, and has been adapted from its spoken word format for this publication.
I.
I was a nervous wreck.
The make sure the doors are locked 16 times and make sure the shades are down even though I live on the top floor, because someone can see me kind of nervous wreck.
And then my soul saw you and kind of went “oh there you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”
I am naming all of the butterflies you’ve put in my belly.
They do not come to term.
II.
I cut off ALL my hair and still can’t get you out of my head.
I miss everything about you, and there’s nothing I can do about it because you’re no good for me.
You feed my eyes but not my soul anymore.
I have been starving for a love that can do both.
I am hungry for a love I’m not sure exists.
I’m afraid that I can’t outrun the badness in my blood.
The bitter in my blood.
The condescension, alcoholic, abuser then I’m the victim in my blood.
III.
So baptize me.
Baptize me in your holy water.
Absolve my sins by the boardwalk.
Make the beach the heaven I long to live in.
May every grain of sand be a prayer.
Every seashell a song.
Every rock a memory.
Every crashing wave a kiss on your lips.
Make us chaste lovers.
Make us chaste lovers.
