I wrote this poem about a relationship in which one is attached to his/her partner, hoping that the other will change into this imagined or nostalgic perspective. A relationship like this is never easy to grieve, nor is it ever easy to escape, especially when one doesn’t wish to leave; even though that’s what’s needed for the sake of the heart and mental health.

I reach into the abyss

and expect love.

I reach into fire

and expect the shuddering chills

you made me feel for all those years.

I turn to the devil

and expect an angel.

I am in no way stupid,

nor am I weak,

for I have the strength of a warrior

to muster such forgiveness,

to master your obstacles

and still have hope

when you decline my survival.

It’s that

you are both

my kryptonite

and my villain.

A weakness to protect

and a monster to destroy.

And yet

I maintain my will to love.

But we know,

we all know,

that those who have the highest capacity to love

have no one to love

or no one deserving of this love.

It’s a hopeless grasp on an unfinished dream.

It’s a hope that this dream will finish

so that the abyss can come

and silence will follow.

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