When it comes to social interaction, you learn a lot of lessons the hard way but you get to a point where whatever you learn outweighs whatever it was that got you there. And this is just that. I read through this now and I feel the growth. And I’m grateful for that every day.
you have been my greatest lesson in pride
this seasonal affair (as November died into December)
had my leaves fighting against
all the shades of pathetic
before falling into bitter and numb
it is now summer
my ego has thawed
and I have found a softer self
I am now learning to live with(in)
you have been my greatest lesson in desire
static sizzling on my skin
thick air wringing out my lungs of you
the chemistry of unspoken glances across the room
the fire and ice racing along my bloodstream
the way I always seem to bring pen to paper at the thought
of cold room / late night / bed sheets / screen light / goosebumps
you have been my greatest lesson in jealousy
eyes wandering, thought scattered, looking away
no, I can’t hear her laughing and no, I don’t see you
looking at her the way you used to look at me.
And no. I don’t flinch at the thought of that rooftop
maybe you were also my greatest lesson in denial.