The English Language

October 31, 20171 min read

This is a poem describing the struggles between my writing and my identity that I have had to deal with for the past few months. My ability to write things down, the ability to vent and release through my language is something holy to me, and when it is difficult, I feel like a hostage in my own head. 

I cannot write anymore

I cannot journal my feelings for the sake of my mind

I cannot analyze the words afloat in my tears

I cannot spin the phrases wandering around my thoughts into art as I once could

And so instead the words ferment inside of me

Turning the beauty into bitterness

Turning the only beauty I have ever seen inside myself

Into a horribly recognizable straight jacket


The words that once bounced off the tip of my tounge now choke me

I cannot breath over the silent screams of my unspoken dreams

And another speck of sanity is chased away by the words that now control me


This is who I have become

A writer overrun by her own sweetness, turned to venom inside of her veins

The leading actor forced into a supporting role in her own life story

A silent fly stuck on the wall that has been built inside her head

A hostage thrown in the back seat of the car she never knew how to drive.

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Marlow Saucier

Marlow is a high school sophomore in New England and, among other things, they aspire to be a writer and activist. When NOT with their nose in a book, they can be found eating raw fish, crushing gender roles, making dad jokes, and practicing alternative Wicca. Their Instagram is @m.saucier where they can be easily reached.