Now Reading: To the Girl I Promised Not to Write Poetry About


To the Girl I Promised Not to Write Poetry About

March 29, 20172 min read

I wrote this poem when I was 14 and just beginning high school. It is about the first girl I ever loved. I was in a bad place at that point in my life and I turned to poetry as an outlet for the pain I was feeling. This was the result.

"I love you,"
she says it with a smile,
and it's probably one of the most 
beautiful things
I've ever wanted to write about.

"I'm sorry,"
she says it like it's over,
and that's the day
I put my pen down
and stopped writing
because this was not a beautiful thing
and I couldn't see through my tears.

"It's over."
she says it like it's nothing,
like I had never seen 
the galaxies in her eyes
or the stars in her smile.

It was like I had never existed for her,
even though for me
she was the only star
in my galaxy of despair
I had felt for the years I had been a l o n e.

She was my own personal heaven
in this pit of hell we call

And then she was gone
and it was over
and I didn't know whether to
cry or to write because
it felt like my soul had been 
snatched out of my body and ripped
in two
so I did what I do best.

I sat down at the table of her favorite 
restaurant. And I took out a 
pen and a piece of paper and
I wrote all this down and told her
that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you
I'm sorry that your beauty outshines
a thousand suns and I wasn't worthy 
of standing beside it.

So I wrote all this down and I folded
it into an envelope and I put a stamp on it 
and I slipped it into your mailbox addressed
to the girl I promised not to write
poetry about.

I lied.


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Caitlyn Roberts

18 year old in New York who likes films, books, and writing poetry

Tagged In:#lgbt, #poem, #poetry,