This poem was written to describe the dysphoria I feel in my everyday life so that others can see my perspective, possibly relate to it, and maybe even find comfort in knowing that someone understands how they are feeling. When I wrote this poem, I felt suffocated and trapped because I had spent the entire day being birth-named and I couldn’t bind. This is basically the result of built up dysphoria and the yearning to share it with others who may be struggling as well.
I’m too fem
Or I’m too masculine
Never really fitting in here
In this cage of flesh and hope
Filled with dread and despair
I can’t stand having long hair
I don’t belong here
I don’t know what my body should be
This body is not property or my humble abode
This body is a prison I am forced to reside inside
It doesn’t matter how much or how tightly I bind
Every part of my being other than my chest
Is weighed down by my dysphoria
I am slowly suffocating in skin
Behind the bars of my ribcage
The key to euphoria out of my reach
Stretching out trying to achieve my escape
Fingers grasping for air while being deprived of breath
Every attempt at escape seems futile and unsuccessful
No withdrawal from the confines of my skeletal mould
Held down by the weight of my chest and my figure
The knowledge that I can’t be a girl is hidden away
It seems to be evident on my facial features
I am not who you had initially believed I was
You’ve never known who I actually am
But neither have I until recently
I do not know what I am now
I’m just a person like you all are
Trying to find my way in this world
Would you try to forgive me
I am just as curious as you
Just use my new pronouns
And the name I had picked
I’ll try my best to find a place
Where I truly fit
