I Don’t Belong Here

April 1, 20172 min read

This poem was written to describe the dysphoria I feel in my everyday life so that others can see my perspective, possibly relate to it, and maybe even find comfort in knowing that someone understands how they are feeling. When I wrote this poem, I felt suffocated and trapped because I had spent the entire day being birth-named and I couldn’t bind. This is basically the result of built up dysphoria and the yearning to share it with others who may be struggling as well.


I’m too fem

Or I’m too masculine

Never really fitting in here

In this cage of flesh and hope

Filled with dread and despair

I can’t stand having long hair

I don’t belong here

I don’t know what my body should be

This body is not property or my humble abode

This body is a prison I am forced to reside inside

It doesn’t matter how much or how tightly I bind

Every part of my being other than my chest

Is weighed down by my dysphoria

I am slowly suffocating in skin

Behind the bars of my ribcage

The key to euphoria out of my reach

Stretching out trying to achieve my escape

Fingers grasping for air while being deprived of breath

Every attempt at escape seems futile and unsuccessful

No withdrawal from the confines of my skeletal mould

Held down by the weight of my chest and my figure

The knowledge that I can’t be a girl is hidden away

It seems to be evident       on my facial features

I am not who you had        initially believed I was

You’ve never known            who I actually am

But neither have                 I until recently

I do not know                    what I am now

I’m just a person                 like you all are

Trying to find my               way in this world

Would you try                   to forgive me

I am just as                     curious as you

Just use my                    new pronouns

And the name                   I had picked

I’ll try my best                  to find a place

Where I                           truly fit

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Cody Dulis

Cody is a LGBTQ+ writer and artist who spends their time writing, drawing, singing until the neighbors complain, and playing instruments. They live in Pennsylvania and they are 15 years old.