I wrote this poem about a five year on again, off again relationship I was in during middle and high school. In this relationship, I was either completely infatuated with him or I hated his guts and this poem demonstrates the feelings I went through and feeling I had towards him over those years. The relationship has ended since this poem was written, but we still remain friends. I hope you all enjoy.
he is the “never again”
that i always find an excuse
to have just one more time
he is my “this is the last time”
that i always want one more time
he is the cold side of the pillow
he is smell after it rains
he is my “everything”
that i want absolutely nothing to do with
sometimes i want him to hold me
other times i want to hold him
by the throat
until he cannot breathe
sometimes i think i want him until i grow old
other times i feel like i might kill him before we get there
there are times when he makes me cry of laughter
and other times he makes me just cry
sometimes i scream at the top of my lungs i hate you
but by the end of the day i always end up whispering in his ear “i love you”
so no matter how much i fight with him
or how much he annoys me
he’s still always the one i run back to
and frankly I don’t know why
maybe it’s because the way he grabs me
after i tell him “don’t you dare touch me”
or how i want to be left alone
but he refuses to leave my side
it could possibly even be because when i say i need some peace and quiet
he begins to sing at the top of his lungs
maybe because of all these things i just can’t seem to let him go
and honestly i don’t want to
so maybe in some sick twisted way,
he makes me hate him so much
that i keep falling more in love with him.
and that’s the funny thing about it
i hate him so much
but i wouldn’t trade him for the world
